For This Undocumented Activist, Returning To Mexico Wasn't Exile. It Was Liberation - Beritaja

On an overcast greeting successful September, Hector Alessandro Negrete near his beloved Los Angeles — the metropolis he was brought to astatine 3 months aged — and headed down Interstate 5 to Mexico, the only state wherever he held a passport.

It was a spot that, to him, had “always felt for illustration some a coiled and a possibility.”

Negrete, 43, sat successful the rider spot arsenic a friend steered the car southbound and 2 much friends successful different car followed. He had condensed his life to 3 afloat suitcases and his dachshund mix, Lorca.

They pulled complete astatine the formation successful San Clemente. Angel Martinez, his soon-to-be erstwhile roommate, is profoundly spiritual, and his favourite dream spot is the ocean, truthful he prayed that Negrete would beryllium blessed and protected — and Lorca excessively — arsenic they began a caller shape successful their lives.

On the near-empty beach, the friends embraced and wiped distant tears. Martinez handed Negrete a mini watermelon.

As instructed, Negrete walked to the separator of the water, said his ain dream and, arsenic a gift of acknowledgment to the cosmos, plopped it into a crashing wave.

Negrete, holding a drink, embraces his friend Angel Martinez arsenic they sojourn a resistance nine successful Tijuana aft leaving Los Angeles a time earlier.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Negrete doesn’t telephone it self-deportation.

“Self-repatriation,” he said. “I garbage to usage this administration’s language.”

President Trump had been successful agency conscionable complete a period erstwhile Negrete decided he would return to Mexico. Methodical by nature, he approached the determination for illustration immoderate different — by researching, organizing and planning.

Negrete secured 3 forms of Mexican identification: his voter credential, a renewed passport and a paper akin to a Social Security ID.

He registered Lorca arsenic an affectional support animal, paid for a vaccine paper and a certificate of bully health, and crate-trained her successful a TSA-approved carrier.

He announced his determination to time off successful June connected his Substack newsletter: “If you’re thinking, ‘Alessandro’s giving up,’ look deeper. I americium choosing freedom. For the first time, I consciousness unshackled from the expectations of waiting.”

Negrete walks the streets of Boyle Heights while shopping for moving supplies aft deciding he would time off the U.S. connected his ain terms.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Negrete had grown tired of wishing for migration reform. He had built his profession advocating for immigrants specified arsenic himself, including stints arsenic statewide coordinator for the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, aliases MALDEF, and arsenic executive head for the California Immigrant Youth Justice Alliance.

His activity had helped legalize thoroughfare vending successful Los Angeles and he assisted the agency of then-California Atty. Gen. Kamala Harris successful securing the merchandise of a young female from migration detention. He was the first openly undocumented and LGBTQ+ personification connected the Boyle Heights Neighborhood Council.

Under erstwhile administrations, Negrete’s governmental activity had felt for illustration a shield against deportation. Even during Trump’s first term, Negrete had marched astatine rallies denouncing his migration policies.

But that was earlier the caller Immigration and Customs Enforcement patrols that tore into Southern California during Trump’s 2nd term. On June 6, arsenic anti-ICE protesters took to the streets, Negrete rushed to downtown Los Angeles erstwhile chap activists told him thoroughfare medics were needed.

“One of my homies said, ‘Hey fool, what are you doing here?’” he recalled. Seeing Los Angeles constabulary officers advancing connected the crowd, he realized that nary magnitude of nationalist support could protect him.

He fled. “Thank God I left.”

Negrete, successful red, pinch his friends and colleagues astatine a farewell statement and gait waste successful August.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

In mid-August, Negrete hosted a gait waste and going distant party. The flier was tongue-in-cheek: “Everything must go! Including me!”

His reddish T-shirt stated plainly, “I AM UNDOCUMENTED,” and his aviator sunglasses hid the occasional tears. Tattoos dotted his extremities, including an anchor connected his correct limb pinch the words “I garbage to sink.”

“I deliberation it deed maine erstwhile I started packing my worldly today,” he told a erstwhile colleague, Shruti Garg, who had arrived early.

“But the measurement you’ve invited everyone to subordinate you is truthful beautiful,” she replied.

One array held American pop-culture knickknacks — sippy cups pinch Ghostface from the movie “Scream,” collectible Mickey Mouse ears, a Detective Batman purse shaped for illustration a comic book, different purse shaped for illustration the locker from the ‘90s animation “Daria.”

Negrete said the items reminded him of his younker and represented the gothic, quirky aspects of his personality.

“I was calved successful Mexico, but I don’t cognize Mexico,” he said. “So I’m leaving the American parts of maine that are nary longer going to service me.”

The backmost gait slow filled pinch loved ones from Negrete’s various societal circles. There was his mostly queer softball squad — the Peacocks — his moving group, his chosen family and his humor family.

Negrete’s adjacent friend Joel Menjivar looked solemn.

“I’m frightened it’s going to commencement a movement,” he said. “Undocumented aliases DACA friends who are talented and integral to the cloth of L.A. mightiness get ideas to leave.”

Another friend, Mario Mariscal, said he took Negrete’s determination the hardest, though astatine first he didn’t judge Negrete was serious. More than erstwhile he asked, “You really want to springiness up everything you’ve built present for a caller commencement successful Mexico?”

Eventually, Negrete had to show Mariscal that his questions weren’t helpful. During a deeper speech about his decision, Negrete shared that he was tired of surviving pinch the changeless fearfulness of getting picked up, herded into an unmarked van and taken away.

“I conscionable kept telling him, ‘That’s not going to hap to you,’” Mariscal said. “But the much this management keeps doing it, the much it’s successful our face, the much we’re seeing each scary communicative about that, it became clear that, you cognize what, you do person a point. You do person to do what’s correct for you.”

Negrete continues packing for his move to Mexico arsenic roommate Martinez useful astatine their Boyle Heights home.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Negrete is cognizant of the privilege that makes his departure different from that of galore different immigrants. He is white-passing, fluent successful Spanish and English, and moved pinch $10,000 successful savings.

In June, he was hired arsenic executive head of a U.S.-based nonprofit, Old School Hub, that useful to combat ageism about the world. The domiciled allowed him to unrecorded wherever he wanted.

He decided to settee successful Guadalajara, a increasing exertion hub, pinch historical buildings featuring Gothic architecture that he recovered beautiful. It besides helped that Guadalajara has 1 of the country’s about vibrant LGBTQ+ scenes and is simply a four-hour thrust from Puerto Vallarta, a renowned queer edifice destination.

As Negrete began his caller occupation while still successful L.A., he picked a moving day — Sept. 4 — and booked a two-week Airbnb adjacent the shot stadium.

That Guadalajara’s team, the Charros de Jalisco, wore Dodger bluish felt for illustration a bully omen.

On the time he near the United States, Negrete and Martinez clasp a dream astatine the formation successful San Clemente successful which Negrete offers acknowledgment to the beingness pinch an offering of a watermelon.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

On the thrust toward the border, messages poured into Negrete’s phone.

“I’m sending you each my emotion Alessandro,” 1 read. “Cuídate. [Take care.] Know that moreover though you’re acold distant from home, you transportation america pinch you.”

“Todo te va a salir bien,” publication another. Everything will spell good for you, it said. “Spread your wings and flyyyyy.”

Afraid of being stopped and detained astatine the airport, arsenic has happened to different immigrants attempting to time off the country, Negrete preferred to thrust to Tijuana and past alert to Guadalajara.

Negrete’s driver, his friend Jorge Leonardo, turned into a parking batch astatine the motion reference “LAST USA EXIT.”

Negrete put connected his achromatic felt tejana chapeau and called Iris Rodriguez, who was successful the companion car. He asked her to transverse connected ft pinch him.

Negrete walks his past fewer steps connected American ungraded arsenic he enters Mexico en way to Guadalajara, his caller home.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

“I don’t want to spell alone,” he said.

“We’re still connected American soil,” Leonardo said. “You could still alteration your mind.”

Negrete ignored him.

“See y’all connected the different side,” he said arsenic he hopped retired of the car.

He and Rodriguez stopped for photos successful beforehand of a motion pinch an arrow pointing “To Mexico.” Around a corner, the separator came into afloat position — a metallic turnstile pinch layers of concertina ligament supra it.

The statement for Mexicanos was unceremoniously quick. The migration supplier hardly glanced astatine Negrete’s passport earlier waving him through.

On the different side, a busker sang “Piano Man” by Billy Joel successful cleanable English.

“Welcome to the motherland,” Rodriguez told him. Negrete fto retired a heavy breath.

Negrete tours downtown Guadalajara, wherever he now lives.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Negrete’s contiguous family members, and almost each of his extended family, unrecorded successful the U.S.

He was calved successful Manzanillo, Colima, successful 1982. Three months later, the family relocated to Los Angeles, wherever his parents had 2 much children.

At 17, Negrete was 1 of 2 students successful his graduating people astatine Roosevelt High School to get into UC Berkeley. That’s erstwhile he recovered retired he didn’t person papers.

His parents had divided and his begetter joined a U.S. citizen, obtaining a greenish paper erstwhile Negrete was astatine Roosevelt. They began the legalization process for Negrete successful 1999, but 2 years later he came retired to his family arsenic gay.

His begetter was unsupportive and refused to proceed seeking to set his migration status. By the clip they mended their relationship, it was excessively late. Negrete had aged retired of the pathway astatine 21.

In 2008, Negrete was arrested for driving while nether the power of alcohol. Four years later, President Obama established the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, aliases DACA, programme to protect immigrants who were brought to the U.S. arsenic children. Negrete grounded to suffice because of the DUI.

He sewage his grounds expunged successful 2016, but — again — it was excessively late.

The pursuing year, Trump began unwinding DACA, shutting retired caller generations of recipients, including Negrete.

Negrete waited until his past nighttime successful the U.S. to show his mother, who now lives successful Colorado, that he was leaving. He had grown tired of friends and different family members begging him to alteration his mind.

He had partially hinged his determination connected the truth that his mom was successful remission from her 3rd bout pinch crab and had conscionable obtained ineligible residency. With life much unchangeable for her, he could yet activity stableness for himself.

“You taught maine to dream,” Negrete recalled telling her. “This is maine dreaming. I want to spot the world.”

She cried and scolded him, promising to sojourn and repeating what she had said erstwhile he came retired to her each those years before: “I wish you told maine sooner.”

At a edifice successful Tijuana, Negrete’s emotions yet caught up pinch him.

The time aft Negrete and his 3 friends near L.A., 3 much friends amazed him by arriving successful Tijuana for a last Friday nighttime retired together. One of them presented a gift he had put together pinch thief from Negrete’s full societal circle — a video pinch loved ones sharing messages of encouragement.

In Negrete’s edifice room, arsenic he and his friends watched, the temper grew sentimental.

“You’re fundamentally the 1 that formed the family friend tree,” 1 friend said successful her clip. “Friendships do not dice retired successful distance.”

Negrete sobbed. “Yes! Friendships don’t person borders,” he said.

“Every azygous 1 of you has said this hasn’t deed y’all, for illustration it’s a mini vacation,” he said. “I want to deliberation of it arsenic an extended vacation.”

“This isn’t goodbye, this is we’ll spot each different soon,” he continued.

Off his soapbox, Negrete past chided his friends for making him outcry earlier heading to a resistance show.

Negrete had a wont of leaving societal gatherings abruptly. His friends joked that they would mention to him arsenic “catch maine connected the 101” because each clip he vanished during a nighttime out, they would unfastened Apple’s Find My app and spot him connected the freeway heading home.

“We’re not gonna drawback him connected the 101 nary more,” Martinez said.

The past fewer flights of stairs lead Iris Rodriguez and Negrete to his Airbnb flat successful Guadalajara.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

On the formation to Guadalajara, Negrete’s bosom raced and he began to hyperventilate. The worry onslaught caught him disconnected guard.

Negrete had worked difficult to show his friends and family that he was happy, because he didn’t want them to deliberation he had doubts — and he had none. But he began to interest about the chartless and to mourn his erstwhile dreams of gaining ineligible position and moving for nationalist office.

“It deed maine each astatine once,” he recounted. “I americium 3 hours distant from a full caller life that I don’t know. I near everything and I don’t cognize what’s next.”

Many heavy breaths by Negrete later, the level descended done the clouds, revealing vibrant greenish fields and a cantaloupe-hued sunset.

Negrete tests the furniture astatine his impermanent location successful Guadalajara.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Inside the Airbnb, he was amazed to find a clothesline alternatively of a dryer. Noticing the bluish 5-gallon jug of h2o successful the kitchen, he remarked that he would person to retrieve pat h2o wasn’t safe to navigator with. But alongside the caller was thing familiar: The position from his 11-story flat showed disconnected a sprawling metropolis dotted pinch trees, immoderate of them palms.

The adjacent time started disconnected for illustration immoderate Sunday, pinch a travel to Walmart and resistance brunch.

Negrete marveled astatine the costs of a ample carton of ovum whites ($1) and was shocked to spot eggs stored astatine room temperature, liquid laundry detergent successful bags and only single-ply toilet paper. He treated himself to a Darth Vader java mug and a teapot featuring characters from “The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

After brunch, it was clip to play tourist. Negrete was accompanied by Rodriguez, who stayed pinch him for the first 2 weeks, and a caller friend, Alejandro Preciado, whom he had met astatine Coachella successful April and happened to beryllium a Guadajalara local.

Negrete tours downtown Guadalajara. He was drawn to the city, successful part, by its Gothic architecture.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Their first extremity was the city’s Spanish Renaissance cathedral, wherever Negrete said a speedy dream to the Virgin Mary astatine his mother’s request. Negrete treated his friends to an electrical carriage thrust about the historical buildings, wherever he excitedly pointed retired the Gothic architecture, past they bought aguas frescas and walked done an open-air market, chatting successful an English-heavy Spanglish.

“I’m trying to look astatine really group dress,” Negrete said, abruptly self-conscious about his short shorts. “I’m beautiful judge I guidelines out.”

After dinner, Negrete was booking an Uber backmost to his Airbnb erstwhile a connection popped up: “We’ve detected different activity.”

The app didn’t cognize he had moved.

Before he arrived successful Guadalajara, Negrete had already joined an intramural shot squad and a moving club. Practices began days aft his arrival.

Negrete enjoys a position of the sprawling hills of Guadalajara.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Within a month, he moved into an apartment, visited Mexico City and reconnected pinch aunts successful Mexico City and Guadalajara he hadn’t seen successful decades.

He reflected connected the mini joys of greeting vicinity señoras connected greeting canine walks, discovering the depths of Mexican cuisine and the bid of mind that came pinch nary longer emotion for illustration a target — though he’ll still frost astatine the show of constabulary lights.

Still, Negrete remained glued to U.S. politics. In precocious September, the national authorities elaborate plans to statesman processing first DACA applications for the first clip successful 4 years. Had Negrete stayed successful the U.S., he would person yet qualified for a reprieve.

He isn’t regretful.

Lorca greets Negrete arsenic he arrives location aft touring Guadalajara.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

His caller dreams are wide-ranging. He wants to bargain a location successful Rosarito, wherever friends and family from L.A. could sojourn him. He wants to recreation the world, starting pinch a travel to Spain. And he wants to thief U.S. organizations build resources for different immigrants who are considering repatriating.

The extremity isn’t to promote group to leave, he said, but to show them they person agency.

“I really did it,” he said. “I did it, and I’m OK.”

Now, he said, Mexico feels for illustration an estranged comparative that he’s getting to cognize again.